Who is Dan Cannon, and why am I asking you to fuck him? Well, first off I'm not asking you to actually have sex with him. I'd never ask any of the TWFS family to risk cutting their cocks on the jewels that Dan Cannon probably has hidden in his ass. Why would he have jewels in his ass? Dan's a thief. He steals jewels from people. He robs helpless old ladies for their jewelry. He's literally the punk ass bitch version of Carmen San Diego. Also, yes he's been to prison, and yes, he was probably raped by a large black man. Dicks out? For Dan Cannon in prison, the answer was ALWAYS.
How did Dan Cannon get put in the TWFS universe though? Well, simply put some kid mentioned him in an iTunes review and Danny Richardson decided to check him out. That was when Danny realized that whomever left the review was clearly crazy because the Dan Cannon weekly discussion was not only boring but it also wasn't a weekly discussion. Dan Cannon's show was a WEEK LONG DISCUSSION. It takes this son of a bitch a week just to talk about a 3 minute divas match.
It has also been rumored that Dan whipped his dick out and slapped his brother in the face with it so many times that it actually put his brother in a coma. This of course has not been confirmed or denied, but from what I've heard interim co-host Danny Richardson is working hard to find out the truth.
If anyone would like to contact Dan Cannon just type his name in on twitter, it shouldn't be hard to find him. That sorry sack of shit has nearly 100 twitter accounts. Someone is clearly jealous of the Dean Malenko of twitter: Danny Richardson. Also, if you want to call him here is his number: (239) 850-6211. And remember when you call him to say, "Kevin says hi, and you're brother's in a coma."
