Kevin Scampoli:
Height: 6'1
Weight: 225
Finisher: Sweet Chin Music
This man right here is THE whole fucking show. Without Kevin Scampoli the greatest weekly discussion that has ever taken place wouldn't exist. Some people claim it (I'm looking at you, you piece of shit Dan Cannon) but Kevin Scampoli truly is the hardest working man in the world of weekly discussions. Now, before Kevin Scampoli started carrying Danny Richardson's Owen Hart like life less body each and every friday night, he was Ivan Cage. Who's Ivan Cage? He's only the most dangerous man in the history of the legendary E-Feds that once covered the world wide web. Why aren't they around now? Simply put, Ivan Cage beat all the talent so badly that the websites were forced to leave. That's how bad ass Ivan Cage was. The Undertaker also tried to kill him when he was 12, but that's not really important. And last, but certainly not least, Kevin knows the most important thing in life. When you're 9 year old back friend asks if you want to whip your dick out and start wrestling, you always say yes.
In the beginning of 2012 Kevin discovered something that would change his life forever: DDP Yoga. That's right, yoga done by Diamond Dallas Page. As of now Kevin has drop several pounds, his poop slides out his butt like a dick does for Chyna, and he's very close to getting that potato chipped sun baked skin tone that the original self high fiver has. The TWFS Army is convinced that by Summer time one of Kevin's many wrestling personas will be entering the ring soon. Can anyone say, The Good Samaritan? Once this happens it is believed that Kevin and his new friend (and future co-host) DDP will become a tag team where the good samaritan will carry DDP's yoga matt to the ring, help him stretch, and then the two men will teach DDP Yoga to their opponents before they deliver the.... BANG!
